The following tips have been learned over many years of practicing family law and seeing the issues that arise in Mississippi courts when the custodial parent (the Payee) is claiming that the noncustodial parent (the Payor) is not paying their child support. Follow these tips and you (the Payor) will close the door on most, if not all, allegations that the custodial parent may make about you not paying your child support.
1. Always pay on time or early. This is the single most important thing you can do.
2. Always pay with either a check or money order. If paying with a money order, keep the receipt from the money order. The is the second most important thing you can do in the event there later becomes a dispute about your payment of child support.
3. If sending your child support payment through the mail, keep a copy of any correspondence you send with the child support.
4. Never send the child support check through the children. This is adult business, and you should never put the children in the middle of any child support obligation or dispute. Additionally, you should never discuss your child support with the children.
5. Your seeing the children is not a condition to paying your child support. Always pay your child support, even if your former spouse is creating obstacles with your visitation. Not paying your child support always looks bad in front of the Judge, regardless of the situation, and the Courts never find the excuse of not being able to visit with your children as acceptable to your not paying your child support. Stay on the high road.
6. Do not reduce your child support payments unilaterally for any reason. Before you reduce any child support payments (even if the former spouse agrees) a court order allowing such reduction must be in place. Don’t fall for this dirty little trick! (See my previous blog about why its important to get a court order approving any modification.)
7. If you have a reduction in income, immediately consult an attorney to see if you are entitled to a reduction in child support.
8. If you prefer, you may have your child support deducted from your pay via a withholding order. For some, this is preferable to having to write a check each month to your former spouse, with the additional benefit that it is not available to you to spend somewhere else because you never get it in the first place. However, once the withholding order is in place you cannot unilaterally decide later that you no longer wish your child support to be withheld from your paycheck. Additionally, employers are entitled to charge a small fee from the remainder of your check for their trouble associated with withholding your child support from your check.
To learn more, please visit our website at http://www.showspowell.com/.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Why its important to modify an existing Court Order in Mississippi
So you and your ex-spouse have divorced. You have a court order in place from a Mississippi court outlining what each of your respective rights, duties and obligations are. And afterward, you both decide that what the Court ordered, or in many instances what you each agreed to do, is now not what each of you want.
Can you just decide to agree to do something else? Of course you can. But doing so has strings attached - long, slimy, sticky strings that may eventually get you tangled up. Think of an attacking octopus with its 8 legs, each with those suction cups flailing around trying to grab you and not let you go. Can you see it?
Doing something that is different than what the Court has ordered is ok in only one situation: when you get the previous order modified by a new order from the Court. To do otherwise is running the risk (which you should not take) that you and your ex-spouse are going to agree on all future issues (and if you have children together that is NOT going to happen).
If you and your ex-spouse don't follow through and get the new agreement reduced to a Court order, your ex-spouse can later ask the Court to hold you in civil contempt. Civil Contempt is the willful failure to follow an unambiguous court order. To prove that you are guilty of civil contempt, all your ex-spouse has to do is to show that you failed to comply with the Court order.
A common example is: Ex-husband and ex-wife had a child during the marriage. Wife gets custody of the child during the divorce, and husband has to pay child support. Now the child is 14, giving the mother fits because teenage ego and hormones are in full swing, and sends the child to live with the father. Mother agrees that while the child lives with the father that the father need not pay the Court ordered child support. They don't go to Court to get an order relieving the father of the child support obligation. After a few months, the teenager decides that he/she had it better over at mom's house, and decides to move back in with the mother. Somewhere along the way, ex-husband and ex-wife gets into a dispute over something. So ex-wife proves to ex-husband that she has the upper hand by filing a contempt action against ex-husband for failure to pay child support (during the months that the child resided with ex-husband). Ex-wife can easily prove what she needs to for contempt. Even though ex-husband will likely be able to avoid liability for the contempt action, he will still necessarily incur legal fees and heartache, not to mention time off from work, because his ex-wife got angry.
Moral of the story: Always, always, always go to the trouble of getting a court order modifying anything that you and your ex-spouse has agreed upon to avoid the sticky octopus arms. The expense of getting a lawyer to draft up an Agreed Order that both of you sign pales in comparison to the expense and stress you will incur in defending a contempt action.
Final thought: Just because you and your ex-spouse type something up, sign it, and have it notarized is not sufficient to modify a court order.
To learn more visit our website at http://www.showspowell.com/.
Can you just decide to agree to do something else? Of course you can. But doing so has strings attached - long, slimy, sticky strings that may eventually get you tangled up. Think of an attacking octopus with its 8 legs, each with those suction cups flailing around trying to grab you and not let you go. Can you see it?
Doing something that is different than what the Court has ordered is ok in only one situation: when you get the previous order modified by a new order from the Court. To do otherwise is running the risk (which you should not take) that you and your ex-spouse are going to agree on all future issues (and if you have children together that is NOT going to happen).
If you and your ex-spouse don't follow through and get the new agreement reduced to a Court order, your ex-spouse can later ask the Court to hold you in civil contempt. Civil Contempt is the willful failure to follow an unambiguous court order. To prove that you are guilty of civil contempt, all your ex-spouse has to do is to show that you failed to comply with the Court order.
A common example is: Ex-husband and ex-wife had a child during the marriage. Wife gets custody of the child during the divorce, and husband has to pay child support. Now the child is 14, giving the mother fits because teenage ego and hormones are in full swing, and sends the child to live with the father. Mother agrees that while the child lives with the father that the father need not pay the Court ordered child support. They don't go to Court to get an order relieving the father of the child support obligation. After a few months, the teenager decides that he/she had it better over at mom's house, and decides to move back in with the mother. Somewhere along the way, ex-husband and ex-wife gets into a dispute over something. So ex-wife proves to ex-husband that she has the upper hand by filing a contempt action against ex-husband for failure to pay child support (during the months that the child resided with ex-husband). Ex-wife can easily prove what she needs to for contempt. Even though ex-husband will likely be able to avoid liability for the contempt action, he will still necessarily incur legal fees and heartache, not to mention time off from work, because his ex-wife got angry.
Moral of the story: Always, always, always go to the trouble of getting a court order modifying anything that you and your ex-spouse has agreed upon to avoid the sticky octopus arms. The expense of getting a lawyer to draft up an Agreed Order that both of you sign pales in comparison to the expense and stress you will incur in defending a contempt action.
Final thought: Just because you and your ex-spouse type something up, sign it, and have it notarized is not sufficient to modify a court order.
To learn more visit our website at http://www.showspowell.com/.
Monday, April 19, 2010
So You’ve Found Evidence of Infidelity on your Spouses Computer. . .
As mad as you may be, DON’T THROW IT AWAY and DON’T CONFRONT YOUR SPOUSE. This is the single biggest mistake I hear from people (mostly men) who have found information on their spouse’s computer which indicates a relationship. While many people today feel that their home computer has become a necessity, it has also opened up a wide community of people at the stroke of a keyboard looking to “connect” with others. This “connection” is leading more and more marriages to divorce. Online chat rooms, dating sites, pornography, social networking sites, free email accounts, etc. has contributed to many failed marriages. While the offending spouse begins innocently flirting, that innocent flirting often times turns into something more serious - a relationship. They feel that their new “connection” listens, understands, cares.
When you come across information that indicates that your spouse may be cheating, don’t react outwardly. Do the following: (1) Breathe. (2) Don’t let on to your spouse that you have any suspicions. (3) Find a time when you can safely search the computer for other evidence of the relationship. When you find something that indicates the relationship exists, print it. Also, if you are computer savvy, save the information to a cd or other media. Keep looking until you are satisfied that you have found as much as you can. Then remove what you’ve found from the home and keep it safely where your spouse will not find it. (It does you no good to do all of this only for your spouse to find it and destroy it.) (4) Don’t let on to your spouse that you have any suspicions. (I know, I’ve already said this. Its really important.)
Then, call us. Let’s explore what options you have. We may want you to remove your computer and have it forensically examined for more evidence by a professional. While this is occurring, you can consider what your next step is, be it confronting your spouse with the idea of counseling and reconciliation, or proceeding with a divorce. Either way, we can help.
To learn more visit our website at http://www.showspowell.com/.
When you come across information that indicates that your spouse may be cheating, don’t react outwardly. Do the following: (1) Breathe. (2) Don’t let on to your spouse that you have any suspicions. (3) Find a time when you can safely search the computer for other evidence of the relationship. When you find something that indicates the relationship exists, print it. Also, if you are computer savvy, save the information to a cd or other media. Keep looking until you are satisfied that you have found as much as you can. Then remove what you’ve found from the home and keep it safely where your spouse will not find it. (It does you no good to do all of this only for your spouse to find it and destroy it.) (4) Don’t let on to your spouse that you have any suspicions. (I know, I’ve already said this. Its really important.)
Then, call us. Let’s explore what options you have. We may want you to remove your computer and have it forensically examined for more evidence by a professional. While this is occurring, you can consider what your next step is, be it confronting your spouse with the idea of counseling and reconciliation, or proceeding with a divorce. Either way, we can help.
To learn more visit our website at http://www.showspowell.com/.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Domestic Violence in Mississippi
Domestic violence is not just an act of violence by a man toward a woman, or by a husband toward his wife. It is becoming more and more common that the abuser may also be the woman toward a man, the wife toward her husband. Domestic violence can occur in same-sex relationships. Domestic violence is violence between any of the following people:
(1) Spouses;
(2) Former spouses;
(3) Persons living together as spouses;
(4) Persons who used to live together as spouses;
(5) Persons having children together;
(6) Persons who are dating; and
(7) Persons who used to date each other.
Domestic violence can take any of the following forms:
(1) Attempting to cause harm to another;
(2) Intentional, knowing or reckless harming of another;
(3) Placing another in fear of harm by threat or physical menace;
(4) Criminal sexual conduct against a minor;
(5) Stalking and cyberstalking; and
(6) Other criminal sex offenses.
Domestic violence occurs every hour of every day. The main reason an abuser commits these acts is to control the other.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, you should seek help for yourself. There are resources available to you. One resource in Central Mississippi is The Center for Violence Prevention (601-932-4198). You may be able to obtain a Domestic Abuse Protection Order preventing your abuser from coming near you.
Additionally, you should not be afraid to call local law enforcement. Although you may fear retribution from your abuser, this will assist you in documenting the violence, and this is often a good first step toward getting free from the abuser.
If you are the victim of domestic violence, male or female, contact us to see what options are best for your situation. Also, to learn more about domestic violence, visit our website at http://www.showspowell.com/.
(1) Spouses;
(2) Former spouses;
(3) Persons living together as spouses;
(4) Persons who used to live together as spouses;
(5) Persons having children together;
(6) Persons who are dating; and
(7) Persons who used to date each other.
Domestic violence can take any of the following forms:
(1) Attempting to cause harm to another;
(2) Intentional, knowing or reckless harming of another;
(3) Placing another in fear of harm by threat or physical menace;
(4) Criminal sexual conduct against a minor;
(5) Stalking and cyberstalking; and
(6) Other criminal sex offenses.
Domestic violence occurs every hour of every day. The main reason an abuser commits these acts is to control the other.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, you should seek help for yourself. There are resources available to you. One resource in Central Mississippi is The Center for Violence Prevention (601-932-4198). You may be able to obtain a Domestic Abuse Protection Order preventing your abuser from coming near you.
Additionally, you should not be afraid to call local law enforcement. Although you may fear retribution from your abuser, this will assist you in documenting the violence, and this is often a good first step toward getting free from the abuser.
If you are the victim of domestic violence, male or female, contact us to see what options are best for your situation. Also, to learn more about domestic violence, visit our website at http://www.showspowell.com/.
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